I was texting with a long-time friend the other day and he said something that I have been pondering. He said that his observation was that there is Christianity fatigue sucking the life out of people. What in the world does that mean, I thought. But as I began to mull over and reflect on the conversations of late with other leaders, family, friends, and students, I can say without hesitation that there does seem to be a fatigue that is trying to stymie Christians in their walk with the Lord as never before.

People are tired, Christians are tired…why? Could it be that we have been trying so hard to ‘do’ the Christian life that we are missing out on the joy of just ‘living’ the gift of a redeemed life?

Everywhere we turn there are valid messages on goals, accomplishments, vision, chasing His purpose etc. I’ve preached all of these! They are all truth! But our fatigue causes a sense of guilt for lack of accomplishments in these areas and the cycle of disappointment, defeat, and weariness persists.

God cannot bless the person we pretend to be…talk about exhausting.

There is absolutely a place of rest and refreshing that I believe the Lord is calling us to…it’s called the secret place. He doesn’t say a lot about it, but it is a place of renewal.

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely, he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.  

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you…” Psalm 91
 
Find your secret place of rest and let Him bring renewal to your fatigued spirit, soul and body.                           ​

​And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, 
to those who are the called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28
 
There’s an old saying that goes something like, “some people can’t see the forest for the trees.” That is to say, if you focus too much on the thing right in front of you, you can miss the bigger thing. We busy ourselves with our day to day lives, so focused on this problem or that that maybe we are overlooking the bigger thing God is doing. There’s a reason Jesus told us not to worry about our everyday lives…because we all have a tendency to do just that.
 
Take the picture above, for example. Most of us look at that picture and see a flag blowing in the wind. But think, for a moment, about all the individual threads sewn together that make up the flag. It’s a wonder isn’t it, that all those individual, seemingly insignificant, strands can be put together in such a way as to make a symbol of freedom, which has stood strong in spite of adversity; so many strands, weak on their own, but beautiful and strong when put together by a master seamstress.
 
God promises us in His word that He will work all things together for our good if we love God and are called according to His purpose. Do you worry about your life? Do you sometimes feel insignificant. Trust that the Master is making something strong and beautiful of your life…something more significant than you can even imagine.

​Now, brothers and sisters, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve… If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.” -1 Corinthians 15

It’s so easy to lose sight of what is most important in life. Like Peter on the water, we often take our eyes off of Jesus because of the swells crashing down around us that we feel sure will drag us under. A million preachers have preached it, but the truth remains, when your eyes are fixed on Jesus you surely won’t sink.

“Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!'

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’” -Matthew 14:29b-30

The Gospel is not just some better way of living. It’s not just some superior morality. It’s not just a set of principles to live by. The Gospel is the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. This is the Good News, that though we were dead in our trespasses and sins, Christ became sin so that we might live.

Is there something dead in your life? Do you feel like you are sinking? Just call on His name, The Resurrection and the Life.

I am just one week shy of being back stateside for a full month. As I have seen so many familiar faces, I get the very familiar question.... “How was your trip?” There are many reasons this question is a hard one for me. 
#1)  It is scientifically impossible for me to take 4 months of outrageously amazing adventures and experiences and shove it into 3 or 4 sentences.
#2)  Even though I know that question is vastly approaching, I can never truly prepare for the emotions it evokes because everyday of re- entry (the process of coming back into one's home culture), I am “unpacking” and processing a different part of my journey. Who knows what part of my journey I am processing the moment someone asks that beautifully complicated question.
#3).... #1 and #2 are plenty, but alas, I could truly name a dozen, but then I would have to think of another title because then the focus wouldn’t be on defining “Struggle Bus” and why I am currently riding it. But before I can begin my definition, I must set the scene a little more. 
So after the question escapes the lips of said human, whom I love with all my heart, I then fumble through a few sentences of what I have already unpacked and processed to share bits of the goodness of my trip and something that God did that changed me in a powerful way. Then comes the next question that flows out in various forms. “So are you glad to be home?” Or “How are you adjusting to being back home?” Or even still “How’s your heart with coming home after all that God used you to do?”

Now theses are the questions that I am currently still unable to answer at the moment. What I can answer, is that I am truly happy to be “home”. I do love all that Jesus does where I live and in the amazing ministry in which He has placed me. I feel overwhelmed by His Goodness every week because of the people we get to love.  But as far as my heart or how I “feel”, I feel torn. Torn between so many places that words lose meaning if I tried to explain it. Thus enters said “Bus”.

In the places I go, we often turn a phrase that greatly expresses life in ministry. There are days that one weary heart turns to another and simply states, “I am really on the struggle bus today”. Or maybe even the verb tense when the bus just isn’t expressive enough as a noun. “I am Struggle Busing it today!” As a missionary or someone in full time ministry, there is this idea thrown around that we are all transported around by the wind of the Holy Spirit. As true as I wish this were.... it’s a lie from the pit of hell. The truth is sometimes you are indeed onboard the struggle bus, and those wheels are not exactly going round and round. But the Goodness of God IS, the Wind of the Holy Spirit may not sweep in and transport you to your destination. But it for sure will sweep in and blow subtly across your face and neck. Not because He has to, but because He loves you and because He wants to! It’s in those moments that the rickety bus of struggle is chugging along, hitting every pot hole the size of Africa, that I hear His whisper. “At least you’re moving, and you're moving forward!” You see, even in my struggle I am still moving forward. I know that I won’t stay on this means of transportation and as soon as I look to Him, I see His plans for a bus stop. You don’t always get to pick the type of struggle. I didn’t ask that man to bring me his dying child in an African village where hospitals are scarce and witch doctors rule by fear. I can’t force the temple prostitute to stop selling herself for food. I don’t get to choose the struggles I face, but I do have choices. I can choose to sit by the broken window on that bus and let the Holy Spirit speak to me. I can choose to trust in His Goodness and in His truth and get off that bus the FIRST time it stops. Transparency used to feel like a trap, but now I see it as the first stop to getting off that bus and choosing a different mode of transportation. He is so good and so faithful I can’t help but ride with Him, and He loves all of my journey. Even the times when my burden outweighs my desire for forward motion. That’s why, even in that, He has plan. I take His yoke and His load full of promise and purpose and He carries mine... and at times He even carries me.

​To say that 2017 was an eventful year would be an understatement of epic proportion.  As with any year, there are highs and lows, and each of these events play a roll in the person we take into the new year.  It's not so much what has happened but how we process what has happened that sets our course.

Randy's passing in March has probably defined me and the ministry responsibility/vision more than any other.  I go through the swings of emotion and endure grief as it sweeps over me in waves only to come out from the storm and sense His grace on a new level.  To try to fill his shoes is an attempt in futility; they are way too big for me.  The realization is this, we're not called to fill someone else's shoes, our responsibility is to make sure we are filling the shoes that fit us.  To quote a line from an old sitcom, "If the shoe don't fit, it ain't yo shoe!"

As we move into 2018 we are thankful for the many things Randy established and we will continue building on that foundation, but we are also anticipating the new things God is doing in World Missions Advance.

Many of us may have to redefine ourselves, on some level, this coming year.  Be encouraged, His plans and strategies are still being fulfilled in our lives.  We must trust His plan and provision and continue to walk out our assignment.  Psalm 37:3: Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. (NAS)

Many thanks for standing with us in 2017 and I pray for your continued support as we impact the nations with the Good News!   --Susan

I Threw my Hands in the air,​ took a powerful stance and proceeded to demand from Heaven, “I just want a SIGN!!! I want something to cling to when it gets hard and I want to quit and go home. Then I can look to that sign and stand on Your Word that You asked me to staff.”

            When I graduated from Christ for the Nations Bible Institute (CFNI) with a Missions Degree, I had been faced with a choice: “Where do I go for 3 months of my life to walk out what I just learned?” I am not sure what dean, founder, or CFNI staff person decided that all Missions Majors must go to a “Field School” in order to graduate… But it was a great idea. The only problem was that I missed the day they described each field school option. So the only thing I had to base my decision on was a paper with a few sentences that described the LARGE selection of places (because at this point in my walk, asking Jesus was only for “life and death” situations. I mean the Big Guy was way too busy back then…). I quickly eliminated everywhere that wasn’t Africa, because Africa is where all the “REAL MISSIONARIES” go (Jesus has since forgiven my ignorance and pride….). That narrowed it down to a few choices. I didn’t know the founders of Iris Global, based in Pemba, Mozambique, but the three sentences sound pretty cool. So I signed the future of my missionary education over to Iris Harvest School without much knowledge of what exactly I was getting into.

            After all the CFNI graduation ordeals had passed, I landed in the red dirt of Pemba with my superhero cape snuggly fastened around my neck. I was ready for the great “bush bush” experience. It wasn’t long before the Holy Spirit stood on the tail of said cape and caught me off guard. I quickly found out that this was less about reaching the multitudes and a lot more about reaching the one Jesus sets right in front of you. It had nothing to do with singlehandedly ending hunger, but realizing that these sweet mamas know more about being fed by their Papa than I did. I was more the definition of an orphan than the amazing, smiling faces of the children who may just be growing up without earthly parents. Africa did not need Ashley Ruffin; Ashley Ruffin needed Africa!
​
There was no stone left unturned in my heart over those three months. There still aren’t many days that go by that something Jesus taught me in that red dirt doesn’t echo in my life.  In fact, it was 3 years ago that I began to cry out to Jesus for a sign - that He would make it plain if He wanted me to go back to the most beautiful and fruitful season of my life, but as a staff member this time. You see, Mozambique, in all of its epic greatness as the most refining fire there is, is STILL A FIRE. Fire burns, and it’s hot, but I knew that if Jesus asked me, I would do it. It was then that I saw, up in the sky for all the world to see…. This ACTUAL Billboard: : : : : : : : : : : (Because I feel like just one colon thing is not enough!)            Obedience is huge for me, so with this even huger sign in the sky, I quickly set about making plans to return to Pemba. Some of those plans led me to the city of Abilene, Texas. I was there for an Iris Leaders’ HeartSync training, never intending to make a habit of visiting Abilene. While there, I met the base directors of Iris Abilene and they informed me that they too were going to have a school and they needed some people to Staff. Could it be true? Could I staff here in Texas and not be on the metaphorical “hook” that is staffing in Africa?!

​

The story is told of a man who walked across a tightrope, high above the ground, while pushing a wheelbarrow.  When he got to the other side, he found that a man had been watching him. The tightrope walker looked at the man and asked him if he thought that he could do this amazing feat a second time.  The onlooker, still amazed at what he had just witnessed, said "Sure, I believe you can." The tightrope walker quickly replied, "Why don't you hop in the wheelbarrow then while I push you across?"  

I've heard this story twice now, in the last few weeks from two completely different sources.  One, a doctor, the second while reading a book.  I figured seeing this story twice in such a short period of time was either God speaking to me or an amazing coincidence, so I thought I would share it with you.

Faith. We Christians talk about it a lot.  You ask any Christian what faith is, and they'll probably raise their voice, get a little excited and start quoting, "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen..."  That sounds good, but what does that really mean?

Yeah, we can quote the Scripture, and feel good about ourselves while we do it....but do we have tightrope kind of faith?  I mean, hop into a wheelbarrow, 1000 feet in the air, being pushed by someone else kind of faith?  Do we have the kind of faith that gives up control or at least the illusion of control of our own lives and trusts the Tightrope Walker?

We serve a God Who walked on water, turned water into wine, made the lame to walk, the blind to see...a God who brought dead people to life. 

Do I have faith? Yeah, I think so.  For sure, the kind that goes to church and can give you a nice definition of what faith is.  Do I have jump in the wheelbarrow, being pushed by a tightrope walker kind of faith? I don't know...but I think I want that kind of faith.  I'm not sure though...it sounds kind of scary.

--Chad