Sadly, Tina was correct, indeed, I did not sprout fins and run away with Flounder. But the other part of the message I picked up that day, was dreams don't exist. As I grew older I still dreamed, but never quite to the depth of the ocean of imagination I once had ventured too. My life then became about becoming qualified enough, measuring enough to be counted worthy for the things I set my mind too. Even in ministry I seemed to have my hands in it all. From media to drama to worship band, there wasn't much I didn't feel the need to try and add to my list of accomplishments. It wasn't until I was 21 years old and off the missions field that I realized all that I had worked to accomplish really didn't add up to me feeling qualified for anything. I had a handful of random talents and some tricks of the trade that didn't equal a career or a job. I felt completely unqualified to even serve Jesus. Yet the reality of the situation was, I was stepping on the teetering scale of the world's standard, hoping to be found approved. I had missed out on all the areas through out my life where God was equipping, calling, and qualifying me for a life marked by depths of adventure. As a small child I yearned to live in the depths of the ocean, surrounded by mystery and wonder beneath the surface of the life I knew. God had placed that desire inside of my heart. Sure, it appeared in the form of a bright purple little mermaid t- shirt, but God has, in fact, created me to dream and to seek out the depth and mysterious of His heart. If I look to the numbers carved on the face of the world I will never measure or be enough to make a difference, but it's God and His scales of mercy and grace that have called me to be set apart. I have heard it said that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called and this statement rings so true in my life these days. I have never taken a business class, yet I manage a coffee shop at a ministry; I didn't exactly follow through with nursing, yet I bandage the broken hearted; I have never even attempted a law degree, but I get to proclaim freedom for the captives. In a world marked with beautiful educational opportunities, careers, and dreams, I daily get to live out mine. My favorite part is everyday I feel my sweet Savior telling me to dream even bigger. I have the best Job, Career, Dream, Life. Everyday that you serve Him you are qualified!
Ashley Ruffin is a missionary to the inner-city in Jackson, Mississippi. Click here to visit her WMA page.